LOLOLOL

ralph fucking nader, huh? are you out of your mind? what the fuck is this cat thinking? is he thinking? at this point in the game? you're not going to win. no. not close. not even a fraction of a chance. even though i'm basically on the same page as nader and the green party, i can't for the life of me understand what they're doing these days. i don't really think nader even wants to be president; i think it's about him and the green party. can you picture him on the job? what has he been doing this whole time? say what you want about the other candidates, but at least they've been out there hustling. nader just fumbles in, announces himself in that tediously monotonous mumble, and now all of us liberals are supposed to swoon over "finally having a real choice." fuck that. we've had a choice. his name is barack motherfucking obama, son.

president ralph is doing it for the lulz.

r.i.p., teo macero

teo macero, amazing musician and innovative producer, died on tuesday:

Helping to build Miles Davis albums like “Bitches Brew,” “In a Silent Way” and “Get Up With It,” Mr. Macero (pronounced TEE-oh mah-SEH-roh) used techniques partly inspired by composers like Edgard Varèse, who had been using tape-editing and electronic effects to help shape the music. Such techniques were then new to jazz and have largely remained separate from it since. But the electric-jazz albums he helped Davis create — especially “Bitches Brew,” which remains one of the best-selling albums by a jazz artist — have deeper echoes in almost 40 years of experimental pop, like work by Can, Brian Eno and Radiohead.

macero was one of the deciding factors in me deciding to explore the seemingly limitless possibilities in audio production and editing and move beyond merely playing and creating music. as the article rightly states, he had a lasting, although largely unsung, impact on the subsequent decades following his collaborative relationship w/ miles davis. macero was one of the first producers to stretch the boundaries of what record producers usually do and had a vital role in the end result; a precursor to the "superstar producer" of today.

locomotive

ive been listening to nothing but guns n roses lately and so naturally, ive picked up slashs autobiography and the new axl biography by mick wall. i just started axls biography and am nearly done w/ slashs. if youre curious about slash but dont want to wade neck-deep through the dark matter, allow me to sum it up:

smack, coke, blow jobs under the table in a shitty mexican joint, fifth of jack, coke, smack, jack, jack, cop smack, slam smack, coke, blow job, axls a fucking weirdo, smack, fat rails, thin rails, blow job, axls a dick, coke, cop smack, fix smack, reckless driving, jack, blow job, teabagged by tommy lee, axls a fucking dick, smack, blow, jack, jack, smack, coke, arrested, totally mindblowing random act of kindness from axl, holy shit someone od'd, jack, speedballing, cop smack, fat rails, speedballing, little demons all over the place, intervention, rehab, withdrawal, fiend smack, cop smack, mmmm smack, coke, speedballing, really fucking disturbing anecdote involving james hetfield "skullfucking some girl" in slashs room, axl freaking the motherfuck out, riot, steven adler totally junked out, jack, coke, kick steven adler out, izzys out like a light, motherfucking axl, blow job, "wheres izzy?", matt sorum hates axl, gilby fucking clarke?, fucking motherfucking axl, riot, riot, riot, motherfucker, fiend smack, cop smack, fat rails w/ some pr0n chick, overdose, another mindblowing act of random kindness from axl, goddamn it, fucking axl goddamn rose, leave the band, then everyone leaves the band, axls a dick but only slash has earned the right to call him that and will beat anyone elses ass who calls him one.

in a word: (fucking) awesome. heres the original line up totally fucking pwning you w/ a live rendition of "welcome to the jungle" back in '88:

yacht rock (dahlink)

is this shit ever going to get old? years ago, it was the strokes (remember them?). then it was clap your hands say yeah (fuck no). then the arctic monkeys. then peter, bjorn, nikolai, sven, timmy. now its vampire weekend. of course, its very easy to understand why this band is as hyped as it is: theyre rich and they write completely inoffensive pop music. and if theres anything that we love in america its easy cheese and money. i cant help but feel that this is somewhat comparable to the early 80s when bands like the knack were huge. at the moment, it seems as if the more derivative, predictable, bland, and clean-cut a band is, the more likely they are to get written about in details or have a lengthy thread started over at ilx or whatever.

how is it that weve found ourselves living in a bret easton ellis novel? paris, trump, bravo tv, vampire weekend? oh, well. i guess its not so bad. everything is cyclical (supposedly) so now we just have to wait around for the "next guns n roses" to make popular music exciting and greasy again. but, ugh, that means the next grunge movement wont be too far behind. excuse me while i go off myself.

go herbie!

props to herbie hancock for cleaning up at the grammys last night. i used to think the awards show was ridiculous, but crap, at least theyve finally acknowledged a true giant like herbie.


heres herbie when he was in the miles davis quintet, absolutely tearing it up w/ their rendition of "round midnight":

"this is where we break it down, ooooh, this is where we break it down, ahhhh"

i love me some flight of the conchords and im eagerly awaiting the second season of the show. if youve never watched it, its about these two new zealanders, jemaine and bret, w/ a folk/electronica novelty act, the flight of the conchords, who move to nyc to make it. they dont- theyre totally lame. their manager, murray, is the source of endless lolz. he begins every band meeting w/ roll call and meticulously goes over bullet items on his yellow scratch pad. jemaine and bret have little luck w/ women, dont drink or swear, and bret always wears sweaters w/ animal prints. their one friend, dave (played by arj barker), is a crude, belligerent new yorker whos always supplying the guys w/ awful advice on women and can never remember that theyre from new zealand, not "england or some shit." the conchords play gigs at electronics expos, airport lobbys, and new jersey public parks. their sole fan, mel, is wholly obsessed and devoted to them; in other words, she fucking stalks the shit out of them and is always trying to get a manage going. her husband, her one-time college professor, sometimes accompanies her on her stalks and is far too ineffectual to say or do anything about his wifes blatant erotic fixation on the guys. oh, and the dudes will randomly break into song during the course of an episode. are you sold yet? if not, here are some vids taken from a few episodes:


"hip-hopopotamus vs rhymenoceros"
bret and jemaine are about to get robbed when jemaine breaks out into a rap about being the motherflippin rhymenocerous and how its consequently ill-advised to rob them. needless to say, this is not a deterrent to their robbers.


"shes so hot (boom)"
bret gets a job as a sign holder. he has to train a n00b by the name of coco. whilst telling her about his band, he falls deep into lust w/ her and breaks into a m.i.a.-esque world jam about "boom boom lets rock the boom my eyes are zoomin my bodys boomin enough small boom lets boom the boom boom."


"inner-city pressure"
after dumpster diving for the nights meal, the boys launch into a pet shop boys-esque, synth-heavy tale about the gritty streets of nyc, complete w/ pitch-shifted refrain. "no one understands, no one sympathizes, so you just stay home and play synthesizers"


"think about it, think about it"
another rumination on the bleak realities of city life, the band sails into a smooth marvin gaye-inspired, mid-70s' slowjam, complete w/ lyrics about "kids callin each other names like 'dork'" and "people getting diseases from monkeys." and then they break it down.

life is good for the moment

ive got an ice-cold stella and a fucking fat burrito from chipotle (sorry, molly, you snob).

i ask you: what else is needed?

what in sweet christ--

IS this shit? to be literal, its heidi montags music video, but on a deeper, existential level, what in sweet christ is this shit?



um-- ? mean, snarky quips elude me at the moment. i just cant believe that, way back in the day when the hills was a new show, i actually thought she was kind of cute. kind of. when i covered part of my eyes and cut off half her chin.

<3

ive changed my mind on feist: i fucking love her.  i would sire her children.  also, we have the same birthday (though she is like 5 years older than i am).  

coulter endorses clinton

now, i know everyone thinks that coulter just says shit to remain in the public eye, but i believe she means what she says.  shell vote for clinton if it comes down between her and mccain. why does this make perfect sense to me?  and i actually completely agree w/ her that clinton would be stronger on the war than mccain.  

what a precarious time for conservatives.  i almost feel bad for them.